Dear Mr Angry Taxi Driver,
Following out little contre-temps on Goodge Street this evening I just wanted to clarify a few things. I am sorry that you think that, as I am not sporting a tax disc upon my bicycle, I don't deserve to be on the road. However, I wonder if perhaps you might have more luck bringing this up directly with the government?From my limited experience, shouting at individuals with a vehemence that leads to them receiving a face full of spit doesn't tend to engender swift policy change in a democracy.
Also, I deduce from the fact that you threatened to deliberately run me over after I (politely, smilingly) asked you not to park in the cyclists' green advance stop zone, that you might be a little stressed? Death threats are not usual on my perfectly legal ride to work, but I'm sure you had your reasons. Perhaps a little light exercise might bring down your blood pressure? A weekend jolly on a bicycle perhaps? The fresh air and endorphins would do you no end of good, and potentially make the world a better place for the people who share the road with you.
I hope you have a better journey tomorrow, and no hard feelings.
Girl and Steed
p.s. I had some trouble calming down Trusty (the steed in question) who was especially irate at your bad language (he has a sensitive temperament) but I explained that it is a very hard life shut in a metal box thinking about the problems with immigrants. He is a free-range bicycle you see, so he didn't understand.